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who am i? {and how did i get here?}

Published on November 12, 2013 by cara.b.b.5 Comments

let’s get real for a minute. i am sleep deprived, in a constant state of frazzle, over-caffeinated, perpetually late, hair in a constant topknot, and not exactly sure who I am anymore. i am a full time mom. it’s my dream job, but man, it’s hard work. sound familiar to anyone? please please please tell me it does.

beckett challenges me. he’s not the rule follower i was and to say he’s active would be a crazy understatement. he’s also about thisclose to giving up his nap. chloe only recently started to appreciate that i like more than 6 hrs if sleep a night and thinks its funny to bite me when she nurses. i am in a bit of a hard place – mainly a place of exhaustion.

but these kids who exhaust me physically and emotionally also light me up. i can’t believe i didn’t know about this kind of all-consuming love just a few years ago, and to watch them become who they’re going to be is nothing short of miraculous. they are my everything, and though i’m not exactly sure where they stop and i start, i know i am proud of what i’m doing right now. even if i’m a mess in the process.

beckett {says}

Published on October 24, 2013 by cara.b.b.1 Comment

here’s the set-up. we’re driving down the road and beckett is looking for cows. sometimes we see them on some property close to our house.

me: i don’t see any cows today, kiddo.

beckett: mama, i am not a kiddo. my name is beckett, and i am a kid.

well, consider me put in my place.

{here he is looking 14}

chloe {8 months}

Published on October 17, 2013 by cara.b.b.Leave a comment

chloe, you are such a mover and a shaker. you are getting faster and faster at crawling, pulling up on everything, and continue to be a little charmer. your hair is coming right in, and i feel like your look is going to change considerably in the next few months with more hair and teeth. you have a smile on your face most of the time, and continue with the scrunched up face when you’re not smiling. you love beckett’s legos and really anything he likes to play with. you are super curious, getting under chairs, ottomans, tables, looking for toys…and you usually find them…though i’m not sure what that says about my housekeeping abilities. you are taking two good naps, though your morning one is often on-the-go and not long enough. you are a trooper and go with the flow and just take a longer afternoon nap on those days. by 7 o’clock you. are. done. most nights you’re asleep by 7.30. it’s exhausting being a baby – what, with two naps and eating and pooping too!?! you are still into most foods, yet totally rejected the peach-flavored puffs you tried recently – literally spit them out and even dropped some on the floor. i can tell you’re getting bored with purees so i’ve introduced a few finger foods – peas, cheese, and the almighty cheerio. you are just as sweet as can be, chloe-girl.

chloe {7 months}

Published on October 1, 2013October 1, 2013 by cara.b.b.1 Comment

ok, ok, i know chloe is actually 8 months today. i’m doing the doggy-paddle and trying to keep my head above water over here, and sadly, this blog falls to the bottom of the list. i really hope i can get back at it one of these days. we’ve done lots of little projects around here but i can’t seem to get organized enough to write about them. ok, no more excuses. just want you to know i’m not forgetting about this, i just need about 2 more waking hours a day…or at least for chloe to sleep through the night consistently so i begin not to feel like a walking zombie.

chloe dear, at 7 months, you were full-on crawling – you officially got the hang of that at about 6 1/2 months. you were pulling up too! i don’t have a ton of notes from month 7 because i think you were really working on crawling and pulling up, and girl, you’ve got it down. you are in. constant. motion. you are not a huge fan of being confined in any way – that means the ‘command center’ (that’s what we call the play center that she can sit in), high chair, and even being held. rock this girl to sleep? only on a very rare occasion. speaking of sleep…

this month of sleep was not good. you probably slept through a third of them, which is a start. i’m a lot more at peace with it than i was a month ago. don’t get me wrong, i don’t like getting up, but sometimes, you just need a little extra love i guess. we’ve tried to let you fuss and cry, but i really think you would cry for hours if we let you, and we just can’t do it. i end up nursing you, and you go right back to sleep. truthfully, it’s the easiest thing to do. you won’t be this little for long, and i can see the light at the end of the tunnel on the sleeping front.

we slowly introduced different kinds of food, and you have been a fan of most of it. i skipped the rice cereal since it seems that no baby really likes it, and jumped right in with carrots. we moved onto sweet potatoes, squash, other veggies, and then fruit. you’re a good little eater. you are jabbering a lot!! still saying mama and baba mostly. you and beckett can really give each other the giggles now and you’re starting to interact with each other a lot more. it is so dang sweet.

{do you ever look down and realize you dressed yourself and your kid(s) alike? happens probably twice a week here.}

{the face of the moment}

that day that beckett {went to preschool}

Published on September 17, 2013September 15, 2013 by cara.b.b.1 Comment

oh my gosh. this might seem like no big deal to you, but it was a moment for me. i spent every first day of school on the steps of my parents’ house doing this very thing, and now i am doing it for my. own. child. what!?! preschool has symbolized the turning of a page for me – the beginning of beckett being pulled away from me. i know that probably seems dramatic, since he’s only at school two mornings a week – but next year it’ll be three mornings, the next a few full days, and the next….gulp….kindergarten. i can’t even go there.

anyway, beckett is loving school. he comes home talking about his ‘two nice guys’ every day – holbrook and cole. the funny thing is – i know both of the boys parents, but beckett had never met the kids before. he loves gym class – that’s pretty much a given because this boy has an amazing amount of energy to burn – but he also loves going to the library. he looks forward to school, and when i tell him it’s a school day, he throws his hands up and says, ‘yayyyyyy, schoooooool!’

{you may not be able to tell, but was excited. }

chloe {6 month pictures}

Published on September 16, 2013September 15, 2013 by cara.b.b.4 Comments

i’m finally getting around to posting sweet chloe’s 6 month pictures. i know i’ve talked about how happy this child is, but these pictures capture her perfectly – unbelievably happy, curious, and in constant motion. jared had to help me with these because she was so focused on crawling all over this blanket that i couldn’t distract her enough to look at the camera. i really love how these turned out.

{we see this face a lot – snorting comes with it}

and off she goes again. the serape blanket is from arrow & aspen, who initially sent me a blanket different from the one i ordered. they were so sweet to send me the correct one and gift the original one to me to apologize for the mix up. thanks guys. i am loving these, and i keep moving them around our house to figure out where i like them best. their permanent home is still tbd.

rainy day project {muffin tin crayons}

Published on August 29, 2013August 27, 2013 by cara.b.b.1 Comment

i had been wanting to do this for a while, and one day a few weeks ago, we finally got down to it. i had been collecting broken crayons for a while, and we finally had a bag full of them. beckett was excited to help, and we got to work unwrapping all the crayons. i was surprised at how long it kept his attention. he really loved it.

we lined a muffin tin with paper liners and decided to divide them into warm colors and cool colors. we baked them at 250 degrees for 10ish minutes. watch them, though, because if you bake them too long they’ll just melt together into a muddy color. take them out of the oven carefully and let them cool completely. unwrap, and get to coloring.

chloe {6 months}

Published on August 28, 2013August 27, 2013 by cara.b.b.6 Comments

chloe, once again, you are much closer to 7 months than 6, but i wanted to have your stats this time and your appointment was just monday. and your stats – i’m kind of in shock. you are 18 lbs, which puts you in the 50ish percentile, and you are 27 1/4 in tall, which puts you in the 90th percentile!! people, is this really my baby? i’m 5’2″!

i think this has been your most changing month. i thought beckett was active, but you kind of put him to shame, which scares me. at your 6 month mark, on august 1st, you were definitely moving around – mostly inchworming, and army crawling. your legs are crawling, but you haven’t figured out the arms, so you just launch your body forward and let your feet catch up. you can now go from ‘crawling’ to sitting up by yourself, and have started to sit up for long periods of time. you are babbling – yaya and mama! beckett didn’t say mama for a looooong time, so this kind of thrilled me. and i swear that you’re saying it to me – when you’re hungry or tired or just a little fussy, it’s mamamamama. it’s probably all in my head. you still have some pretty sweet cheeks, but you continue to thin out. you’re eyes are so sparkly, but we still can’t quite tell the color – some days they’re blue, some days gray, and sometimes we see a little green.

i read in my notes that you slept three nights in a row for 12 hours. i don’t think that has happened more than that since, and we have two cute little teeth and a cold to thank for that. both have completely wrecked your sleep, and mine too. dang. it’s been about three nights of good sleep, three nights of terrible, alternating this month. sleep or no sleep, you are still the happiest kid i ever did meet.

beckett has been calling you clo quite a bit recently, and he even throws out a chlostine every now and then. you guys are getting pretty cute together.

{celebrating the half birthday with half a cake. red velvet of course.}

beckett {3 years old}

Published on August 27, 2013 by cara.b.b.2 Comments

three years old – what!?! here you are on your birthday. we were bursting with pride and fear and joy. we could have never imagined what a spectacular kid you would become.

beckett, at 3 years old, you are well-spoken, sweet, ‘fiery’ (code for ‘a pill’) at times, energetic, brave, outgoing, coordinated, opinionated, and funny. you love baseball (i can hear you singing ‘take me out to the ballgame’ in your room right now), anything with a motor, puzzles, legos, and being outside, macaroni & cheese, watermelon, red peppers, ice cream and m&m’s. you say ‘i love you, too’ when we say i love you, you play pretend and tell stories with your cars, your ‘L’s’ are ‘w’s’, you say ‘i need’, then hold your hand to your mouth and whisper something like ‘a surprise’, ‘to play trains’, etc. (like you’re letting us in on your secret). you approach random kids on the playground and try to play with them – mostly older girls – and i love that you initiate play instead of depending on us. you still nap (and are much happier if you do), love the movies ‘finding nemo’, ‘cars’, and ‘lion king’, and you and chloe are becoming buddies (though you don’t like her chewing on your new birthday toys). you guys can give each other the giggles now, and i just wish i could freeze those moments. i get choked up every time.

the biggest thing going on in your life right now is that you just started school. you go tuesdays and thursdays, 8.15 – 12, and you are loving it. we thought you were ready for something, and i really think school fills a little void i didn’t know you had. you are so excited to go, and you come home on a little buzz after your mornings there. though you can surely give us a run for our money at home, you truly have a sweet spirit, and you’ve shown it at school already. there’s a boy in your class that is having a hard time transitioning – he is missing his mama. your teacher told me that you’ve been so sweet to him, taking him by the hand and helping him and telling him it’ll be ok and that his mama will be back soon. it made me pretty much explode with pride to hear this from her. you have really always been empathetic, and that will do you well all your life. i also think school has made you a little more sure of yourself, which is most of the reason i wanted you there. not that you needed help, but i really just wanted you to have a social experience without us.

beckett, your parents sure adore you. happy birthday buddy.

we had shenanigans at our house all weekend, and we are still recovering. here are a few pictures from the family birthday party. hope to recap ~~our,~~ i mean his, friend party soon, it turned out pretty darn cute. side note: he had a much better time than these pictures show. i swear, the moment the camera comes out, he is stone faced!

it was pretty darn special to have both sets of grandparents, and 3 of your great-grandparents all in one place.

and just to make you cry at how quickly it all goes….or maybe that’s just me.

{1 year old}

{2 years old}

{and then, at christmas, he began to look like a man}

chloe {5 months}

Published on July 22, 2013 by cara.b.b.3 Comments

chloe, your personality is really starting to shine, and it’s so fun to see you become who you’re going to be. i swear, you are the happiest baby – super smiley and easygoing 99% of the time.

you went on your first trip this month – to san diego! dad had a conference, and you and i tagged along. b-man stayed behind with the grandparents, and we got to have lots of one-on-one time with you – a treat {but we sure missed beckett}! you were an amazingly good traveler and were very go-with-the-flow. we got back on a wednesday, and the next thursday, we were on a plane again – this time all four of us – to louisiana for my cousin, emily’s, wedding. we had so much fun seeing my aunts, uncles, and cousins, and you were a champ at getting passed around.

you are so so active, my dear. if i’m holding you, you love to ‘jump’, and if you’re on the floor, you’re rolling around or scooting. you’re up on your hands and knees, rocking, doing planks, and even getting one knee going forward. i don’t think we have much longer until you’re crawling. you’re figuring out how to move {by rolling or scooting}, and it’s mostly backwards right now. it’s pretty much a guarantee that if i put you down, you’ll be somewhere else by the time i turn around. almost time for us to put up the baby gates – your mobility snuck right up on us! you are nearly sitting up, and are squealing quite a bit. your cheeks and sides of your stomach are ticklish, and you are happy to laugh most anytime. you are grabbing for everything! my hair is one of your favorite things to go for – ouch – but anything that you can get your hands on, you are swiping at and chewing on. you are blowing raspberries and drooling like crazy, but no teeth yet.

we’re figuring out the sleep thing! i was so done getting up so much in the night. i was feeling like a wreck during the day {daddy too}, so i decided to revisit some of my books. i stopped nursing you to sleep {which i had been doing for one nap and at bedtime}, and i swear, the switch flipped, and you started sleeping! maybe it was total coincidence. i don’t care. i feel like a new woman. when i rock you to get you sleepy, you like to hold hands, touch my face, or rub my shoulder – it’s such a sweet quiet time with you.

{shiny, happy girl}