who am i? {and how did i get here?}


let’s get real for a minute.  i am sleep deprived, in a constant state of frazzle, over-caffeinated, perpetually late, hair in a constant topknot, and not exactly sure who I am anymore.   i am a full time mom.  it’s my dream job, but man, it’s hard work.  sound familiar to anyone?  please please please tell me it does.


beckett challenges me.  he’s not the rule follower i was and to say he’s active would be a crazy understatement. he’s also about thisclose to giving up his nap.  chloe only recently started to appreciate that i like more than 6 hrs if sleep a night and thinks its funny to bite me when she nurses.  i am in a bit of a hard place – mainly a place of exhaustion.


but these kids who exhaust me physically and emotionally also light me up.  i can’t believe i didn’t know about this kind of all-consuming love just a few years ago, and to watch them become who they’re going to be is nothing short of miraculous. they are my everything, and though i’m not exactly sure where they stop and i start, i know i am proud of what i’m doing right now.  even if i’m a mess in the process.





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5 thoughts on “who am i? {and how did i get here?}

  1. You are an amazing mother (just like your mom!)–and exhaustion is the trade-off right now. Mike and I were just discussing how we’d trade some of the worries about our guys in college, exposure to drugs and alcohol, dating, for the times we had to potty train, get up in the middle of the night, and smile on 2 hours of sleep. But even now, we can’t believe how our hearts burst at the sight of our boys. Watching them grow into young adults, you will see echoes of you and Jared that you never realized they internalized. Carpe diem (and grab sleep when you can)! Hugs!

  2. Cara, you are a wonderful mom and you are doing the most important job in the world. You have just begun to reap the harvest of your hard work. The best is yet to come. Remember Beckett and Chloe are the living message to the future. Love you, dad

  3. Cara, you are doing a GREAT job!! You may be exhausted for a few more years, but Chloe and Beckett are happy, healthy kids and probably will never notice if you have your hair in a topknot. Which by the way looks cute, anyway. Hang in there, it only gets better! :)

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